Reflections for Youth - Forgiveness

Forgiveness. This is something that we talk about at church a lot. It's something that sounds really simple and easy - but we know that it can be hard, messy, complicated, and sometimes doesn't make us feel very good. 

Jesus talked about it a lot.  

Read Matthew 18: 21-35

In the Gospel of Matthew, Peter asks Jesus, "How many times must I forgive someone who does something wrong to me? Seven times?" 

And Jesus tells him no, it's not seven times. It's seven times 70.  So, if you do the math that's 490 times. That's a lot of forgiveness. That's a lot of counting and keeping track.  I am pretty sure that the exact amount isn't what Jesus wanted to focus on. I think he just wanted to give an example that was a big number. 

After Peter's questions - Jesus told the disciples a parable known as the parable of the unforgiving servant.

The story is about someone who owned a whole lot of money to the king, but he couldn't pay that money back to the king when the king asked for it. The king, though, forgave the man what he owed. He said "It's okay that you can't give me the money back. Let's forget about it- you don't even have to pay me back."  That's pretty incredible - don't you think? 

Now, later on, the same man is owed just a little bit of money by someone else. You might guess that after just being forgiven for the same thing, only bigger, the man would want to share this gift of forgiveness by forgiving the other person. Nope, he didn’t. Not at all. The man did not offer any forgiveness to the other person. It’s like he didn’t even remember the forgiveness that he was given.

The story does not end well.  The king is angry and punished the man when he found out that he didn’t offer forgiveness.

But here is a good thing: I think Jesus is telling this story to the disciples  - and us  - to help us to always remember the forgiveness and mercy that we have received from God.  And that will help us remember to work on forgiving others.   

Some things to think about: 

• Marjorie Thompson writes: “To forgive is to make a conscious choice to release the person who has wounded us from the sentence of our judgment, however, justified that judgment may be. It represents a choice to leave behind our resentment and desire for retribution, however fair such punishment may seem. . . " How can we see forgiveness not as an onerous burden, but as a reflection of God’s love and a gift to us?

• Here are some definitions of forgiveness:

            1) Refusing to seek revenge  
            2) Letting go of resentment 
            3) Wishing the best for those who hurt you.

            Which one works for you? What would you add?

More Questions: 

• How are forgiveness and reconciliation similar? Different?
• What are some situations in which someone might forgive but not reconcile?
•  Is forgiveness always possible? Why or why not?
• What do you think is the biggest challenge to forgiveness?
• Where have you experienced God’s forgiveness?